Sally Says

Drum Kit

 

No, not a real drum kit.  Who needs real drums, when you have pots and pans and dueling drum sticks?  We really needed to go out and by toilet paper, but decided to hang out in the kitchen playing drums instead.  Only one of the three of us uses toilet paper anyway, and I could wait.

Charlie, Charlie, Charlie

Somehow I've lost the knack of describing a 2 year old.  Tommy's doing all these cool, new, big kid things, like enjoying listening to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory and the Oz books (finally).  Charlie's doing new and interesting things every day too, but I forget to write about them because they're not new to ME.  He's so much fun these days, and very good natured, so he deserves some attention.  Let's see what I can think of, shall we?

His favorite songs to sing right now are Little Bunny Foo Foo and Summertime from Porgy and Bess.  His versions are recognizable and very cute.  He knows all the important words, but kind of skims over some of the  non-necessary words.  "Summer TIME...living...EASY.  Fish jumping.  Cotton HIGH.  Daddy's RICH.  Mommy's good LOOK-ing.  Hush little baby, don't you CRY."  He'll sit at the piano and loudly sing while quietly plinking some keys, as long as nobody is watching.  He didn't seem to inherit Tommy's performance gene, so he'll only whisper it too quietly to hear if you ask him to sing it for someone.

One of his most-used phrases is "a few minutes."  He usually uses it when he's asking to do something.  "I play that a few minutes?"  "I have straw-serries a few minutes?"  "We go zoo a few minutes?"  I must tell him we'll do things "in a few minutes" quite often.

He's started to feel attached to some special friends and asks about them when they're not present.  He asks most often about Caleb, Alex, Claudia and Duncan, Miss Diedre from the Little Gym, and Caroline and Miss Cami from school.  He's figured out my expectations for social interactions just like Tommy did at this age.  He's likely to go give a crying kid a little pat and ask them if they're OK or to say "bye friends" when we walk away from people.

He's flirting with giving up his nap, and I'm so ready for it.  Right now he will take a long three hour nap two or three days in a row and then just not be able to nap for one or two days.  I suppose I should start waking him up after 2 hours or something like that so we can hold onto the naps for another year or so, but no-nap days are so much nicer.  He's sleeps longer at night when he doesn't nap.  I don't have to worry about keeping a very bored Tommy happy but quiet for three hours every afternoon.  We just DO something.  Not napping doesn't make him grumpy or have melt-downs, so there's no real negative side effect.  He just needs one every few days.  I probably won't do anything about it yet, but it's nice to know it's on the horizon.  In 6 months or so I might have two children who sleep 11-12 hours at night instead of one who sleeps that long and another who only sleeps 9 hours.

Speaking of, Charlie and I spend our quality alone time together in the early morning.  I've finally gotten him to sleep until at least 5 and usually 5:30 in the mornings.  That's still pretty early compared to Tommy, who wakes up after 7, so we end up playing quietly or watching TV in the living room together while we wait.

Charlie seems to have skipped most of the terrible twos meltdowns.  I suppose it's because he's naturally pretty mellow and extremely verbal for his age.  I understands what's going on most of the time, and is pretty accepting of stuff as long as we remember to explain things.  He does tend to pout when we say no to something he wants, but doesn't belabor the point.  For example, if he asks for some candy and I say no he'll cross his little arms under at the shoulders, tuck his chin, and say "fruit snacks please" in a pitiful little voice.  It rarely works on us, and when we laugh in reaction, he grins a mischievous grin as if to say "oh well, it was worth a try."

He's very much into the "ME DO IT!" stage.  I'm content to let him do things on his own, even if it takes a while, so it's not too frustrating or annoying for either of us.  He buckles the top part of his seatbelt himself.  He climbs up into his car seat himself.  He screws the lid of his sippy cup on himself.

He loves to help me make my "hot tea" in the morning.  He gets the tea bag out of the drawer and puts it in the mug.  He holds onto the kettle when I set it at the water dispenser and then pushes down the button to turn it on.  "Now need shuug-errrr!"  Then he sits down on the floor and waits for me to put my mug and the sugar canister next to him.  He opens the sugar himself, scoops some into the cup and with a huge amount of effort, re-latches the canister.  Don't try to help him at any stage or he'll stubbornly but quietly announce, "me do it."

He's not over-the-top with his expressions of love, but is still very sweet.  He'll give us kisses and hugs if we ask, but prefers to be held quietly.  He's almost always singing "Gulp, gulp, drink some water" when I go into his room first thing in the morning, probably because his humidifier makes a gulping sound that's only audible when all is quiet.  Then he wants me to hold him for about 45 minutes, longer if I let him.  He's in no hurry to rush out and start DOING things like Tommy was.  He always asks where Tommy and Daddy are, even though he knows they're still sleeping.  When Tommy finally wakes up in the morning, Charlie always runs over to him, stops a couple of feet away from him, and says "Hello Tommy.  Sleep well?"

He's a very sweet little boy, and we love him dearly.      

See What I Mean?

 

(Click to enlarge.)

Drawing and Reading

Tommy's been drawing up a storm for a week now.  I guess he just needed to think of it as forbidden fruit.  He's quite clever in looking for inspiration.  He's adept enough at the cable remote that he can rewind and pause the TV at a screen shot that interests him.  Then he draws it.  I think this is a great way to learn how to draw because trying to copy something that is already in the simple lines of a cartoon is easier than drawing from nature.

We've also made a break through in teaching Tommy to read.  For a few weeks now, he's been begging me to buy him the big Lego Indiana Jones set that depicts the boulder chase from the first movie.  It's a $60 set, so it's not something I'm going to buy any time soon.  Inspiration!  I made him a chart with 60 squares on it.  He gets to put a sticker in a square every time he spends 15 minutes reading his phonics primers or other beginning readers to a grown up.  When he fills up all 60 squares - one square equals one dollar - I'll buy him the Legos.  He's never been this excited about learning to read before.  He's making fast progress too.  He read probably 60% of the words in Green Eggs and Ham on his own the other night, and he was just as shocked at his success as we were.

I'll was going to write about Charlie some today too, but he's trying to climb on me as I type, so I should probably just give up for now.  I'll focus on him tomorrow.  

Mommy Interview

Someday my kids are going to ask me, "Mom what's a meme?  We talked about them in history of the '00s, and I just don't get it."  Here's one for today.  I asked Tommy each of these questions, and here are his answers.

1. What is something mom always says to you?

I love you.

2. What makes mom happy?

That I love her too.

3. What makes mom sad?

Nothing makes her sad.

4. How does your mom make you laugh?

She tickles me and then I giggle.

5. What was your mom like as a child?

She told her brother not to put green stuff on his face.

6. How old is your mom?

35

7. How tall is your mom?

almost as tall as Daddy

8. What is her favorite thing to do?

watch Nightmare Before Christmas

9. What does your mom do when you're not around?

watch TV

10. If your mom becomes famous, what will it be for?

she'll be a teacher

11. What is your mom really good at?

keeping me safe

12. What is your mom not very good at?

running

13. What does your mom do for her job?

librarian

14. What is your mom's favorite food?

biscuits

15. What makes you proud of your mom?

because I love her so much

16. If your mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?

Queen Amidala

17. What do you and your mom do together?

Read

18. How are you and your mom the same?

We have the same last name

19. How are you and your mom different?

She's a grown up and I'm a kid

20. How do you know your mom loves you?

Because she tells me it when I go to sleep

21. Where is your mom's favorite place to go?

Target

Resolution

Tommy had a great day at school today.  I must admit, I was very pleased with the resolution of his issues with participation and his very good friend N.

I talked to the director yesterday morning for a long time.  She knows Tommy well, and we are on the same page when it comes to preschool philosophies.  She offered to talk to his teachers, and I was to speak with them today. 

It sounds like Tommy was never defiant or refusing to do mandatory activities.  Ninety-five percent of what they do is "encouraged" but not required, so every time he and N. chose not to do something that was OK with the teachers.  They were more concerned that he felt like he wasn't getting to do things he actually wanted to do because of peer pressure.  They were just as surprised to hear about all this as I was, so I'm glad there weren't any systemic problems going on right under my nose or anything.  

When I got to school, I gave Tommy a chance to talk to them first.  They listened to what Tommy had to say, and responded appropriately to him.  I was very proud of him for telling them that he's been sad about missing out on some activities and for asking them to help him say "no" to N. in a way that won't hurt their friendship.

They surprised me by already having a great creative solution ready to implement.  The kids are now put into teams for each day.  They'll switch the teams around frequently, and the goal is for each kid to spend time with different kids, breaking up some of the cliques that have formed.  Tommy was so happy when I picked him up, because he got to do things with a couple of his friends that he hasn't gotten to interact with much lately.  He and N. both did the arts and crafts, probably because they were with other kids and the peer pressure was to participate.  Tommy also drew a picture for one of his teachers, who was quite surprised that he wanted to do that.

Even better, when Tommy was in the car on the way home he said, "Mom I did something very brave today.  N. wanted to play a loud game and I didn't want to, so I told him no.  And he's still my friend even though I didn't play that game with him!"

Go Tommy!  Go teachers!  I'm proud of you all.

Reading

One Love of my Life

 

This is Tommy's new favorite spot for contemplation and serious talk with Mommy.  It never occured to him to climb up here until one of his friends visited us with his older brothers and sister.  Big kids have the best ideas.  He was so proud of himself for climbing up there himself, and stayed up there for more than an hour yesterday.  He spent a lot of time talking to me about all the things that were on his mind and telling me stories.  Eventually, I pulled out the camera because it was such a quintessintially Tommy moment.  Here's how one of the loves of my life looks when he's not paying attention to the camera.

  

Grrr. Arg.

I'm thinking something through by writing here, so don't read too much into this.

Last week, I called to ask N's mom for a play date.  N. asks me every time I see him if he can play with Tommy sometime, so I figured I'd get the ball rolling.  It's been a long time since the two of them have done anything outside of school.

She said "yes, but..."  She'd been avoiding a playdate with Tommy for N. because N. has stopped participating in arts & crafts at school.  He says he'd rather play with Tommy than participate.  Choosing what to do is often an option in their classroom, but she doesn't want N. forgoing arts & crafts because of peer pressure.  She told N. he had to start participating on his own, and doing things at school without Tommy, before she'd let him have a playdate.

This is the first I've heard of this.  No teacher has mentioned that Tommy has been refusing to do crafts.  It is a well-known fact that arts & crafts aren't his favorite things to do.  I have been assuming that he participates in group activities, because there have been no reports of defiance.  I expect the teachers to encourage him (ie make him) to participate with a smile regardless of his interest when it is a required activity, but to allow him to do something else when all the kids are self-selecting their activities.  In my mind, he's allowed to avoid art during free play, but for group activities he should be participating.  If he has not been participating I would have wanted to hear about it. 

So the deal was that N. would have to participate fully today in order for us to have a playdate tomorrow.  I've been assumingthat Tommy's always been participating when required, but told Tommy about N.'s mom's rules.  I suggested that he do any project offered with N so that they could play tomorrow.

At pick up time, Tommy and N. were the only two who weren't carrying egg carton caterpillars.  No teachers said anything to me (again) about defiance or non-participation.  Tommy burst into tears when N's mom said there would be no playdate.

In the car on the way home he was really upset, but it didn't seem to be the canceled playdate that was upsetting him.  He told me that he doesn't like playing with N.  He says he doesn't want to play superheroes on the playground, but N. "makes" him.  He said he wants to play with other kids, but N. won't let him.    He said he really wanted to make an egg carton caterpillar but that N wouldn't let him.  Tommy said he DOES like arts and crafts but he only gets to do them when N. is sick or isn't paying attention to him.  I asked him how N. could keep him from doing what he wanted.  He said he was worried that N. wouldn't be his friend anymore or would hurt him.  

Huh.  I had no idea.

(For what it's worth, last week N. told a little girl to scratch Tommy's face and she did.  Tommy said "it was my fault because I was out of control."  We've been working on teaching him to protect himself since then.)

So what's going on?

Is Tommy the bad influence, or is N?  Or is it something else entirely?  Is one of them deciding to play instead of participate and dragging the other one along?  Or do they both just get caught up in what they're doing end up not participating by default?

Why are the kids being allowed to not participate?  And why hasn't anyone mentioned to me that this is happening?

I N's mom making an issue out of a non-issue?  I mean, are the boys actually just choosing to do other types of educational activities at times when there are options?  If this is the case, then it's not our problem.  

Is there bullying?  I doubt it.  N. does have a MUCH more assertive personality than Tommy, and Tommy's a people-pleaser, but they love each other dearly, so I can't imagine that he's truly hurting Tommy on purpose.  But then, why would Tommy say that?

I'm confused and mad and frustrated all at the same time.  I'll be talking to one of Tommy's teachers as soon as possible to get a grown-up version of events.  Then I guess I'll have to talk to Tommy and N's mom again. Grr.  Arg.  This day started out so well.    

When silence isn't golden

Remind me 1) not to leave the salt in the living room anymore and 2) to check on Charlie if it's absolutely silent for too long.

 

Hilariously, the salt was spread quite carefully all over the table, but none of it was on the floor.  He got quite upset, complete with a dramatic "oh no" when some if it fell onto the floor while we were cleaning it up. 

Almost Perfect Day

Yesterday was an almost perfect day for the boys.  The only thing keeping it from being completely perfect was the fact that David is away on a trip.  Despite missing Daddy at bedtime, the day went very, very well.

We started out with a playdate at the house of some relatively new friends.  Tommy and Charlie really enjoy these new friends - one for each of them - and their mom made homemade cinnamon rolls for us.  Yum!  Our friends Niamh and Alex were there too, which always makes our day a little brighter.  

When Charlie and his little friend started getting a bit too tired to continue the playdate we said goodbye.  I suspected that Charlie just needed a change of venue to get a second wind, so we went to the park with Alex and Niamh.  Tommy's good friend Quartz was at the park with his family (and new baby sister!) so we had a grand time playing and chatting and walking around in the lovely spring sunshine.

When it got to be lunch time, I suggested we introduce Alex and Niamh to the Tomato Cafe.  Tommy and Charlie are always excited about meatballs and ice cream.  It's a perfect restaurant for them because it's familiar and they love the food, which means I get to actually take a bit of time to eat myself.

By this point I was really walking on air.  A playdate, cinnamon rolls, fresh air, sunshine, good friends and lunch out -- those are the ingredients for a great day.  We went home and the boys were in such a great mood.  Tommy suggested they watch some My Friends Tigger and Pooh at the computer.  He thought that Charlie would enjoy that.  Isn't that nice of him?  So while they watched a bit of Pooh Bear, I sat the on the couch and read, waiting for Charlie to be ready to nap.  He was ready for a nap (that's mommy-code for "finished his post-lunch diaper business") after about 15 minutes.  Perfect.

 

Charlie took a nice long 2+ hour nap.  The new Pinocchio DVD was waiting for Tommy when we got home, so he watched that while Charlie slept.  I continued reading on the couch.  When Charlie woke up, he was still in an amazingly good mood.  He asked for grapes, and when I told him we didn't have any, HE asked to go to the grocery store.  We were out of milk and other things, but I hadn't planned to try to go because it's usually too hard to get them both out of the house happily after Charlie's nap.  They were both begging me to go to the store (strange!) so we made a quick run to pick up the things we needed. 

Then they played outside while I put the groceries away and threw together a bit of dinner.  We continued playing until bathtime, and everyone was calm and happy.  Tommy took his duties as Mommy's Helper very seriously, so bedtime without Daddy went very smoothly.  We all piled into Tommy's bed to read books and Charlie just loved it.  I usually read his books in his room while David reads longer books to Tommy, but Charlie enjoyed this so much I'm thinking we need to try doing more of the bedtime routine all together.

 

They were both asleep before eight and then I had the evening to myself.  After some nachos, a bit of House on TV and more reading I was ready for sleep. 

The End. 

No Respect

One week ago...

Me:  Tommy, it's time to put your pajamas on.  Try to find matching ones this time please.  It makes me twitch when the bottoms don't match the top.

David:  Don't do it!  I want to see Mommy twitch.

Tommy:  What's a twitch?

David:  It's cool man.  She'll probably jerk around and try to pretend like it's not bothering her, like when I put the wrong colored lid on Charlie's sippy cup.

Tommy:  Cool!  I want to see that!

He hasn't worn matching pajamas in a week.  I'm getting kind of tired of doing the fake, over-the-top twitching response that makes him laugh so much.

Catch Up

And now for a selection of randomly assorted paragraphs.

Charlie and Tommy had their combined well-child doctor visits at the end of February.  Tommy is 46.5 inches tall and weighs 53 pounds.  That's about 90th percentile for weight and over 95th percentile for height.  Charlie is 35.5 inches tall and weighs 28 pounds.  That's 66th percentile for weight and 97th percentile for height.

I never knew how much of parenting young children revolved around organizing the calendar.  Making plans for this summer is kind of stressing me out.  I shouldn't complain because we are lucky to have the resources -  money and a stay-at-home parent - to even consider the wide variety of options available to us.  It's just hard to coordinate everything.  Tommy's definitely continuing swimming, but we're not sure yet if he's going to be in the 2-day-a-week class or if he'll be moved up into the 4-day-a-week class by then.  He's been making lots of progress, but the more advanced kids practice at 7:45 am.  Yuck. 

I've signed both Tommy and Charlie up for one day a week at the preschool, but just for July.  I'd like to get them both signed up for something at the Little Gym again too, but there are so many options it makes my eyes cross to think about it.  Then there are acting classes (Tommy loved those last fall) and camps at the natural history museum, neither of which are open for registration just yet.  Charlie would probably love a Kindermusic class.  I should look for one.  Plus, I'm sure we'll have lots of playdates and family outings and maybe a trip or two.  

Let's talk about something else.

You'd be amazed by how Charlie talks these days.  He says things like "It IS cold" when he goes outside and "Hello?  It's me Charlie!" when he's pretending to talk on the phone and "Hello boys!" when he sees David and Tommy.  I really need to remember to write some of his more precocious conversations down to share with you.

Tommy is wearing his boots again.  I keep buying that boy shoes and just can't find any he'll wear.  I have no idea what the problem is.  We've bought cheap shoes at Walmart and Target.  We've bought really expensive New Balance or Stride Rite at the fancy-schmancy kids' shoe store.  He always goes back to his boots after a few days.  He wears them just long enough that we can't return them.  David's tried.  I've tried.  It sucks.  I'm glad it will be summer soon so he can just wear crocs and sandals.  I'm not buying another pair of athletic shoes until we have to get ready for Kindergarten.

Speaking of Kindergarten, registration is next month.  He'll be going to public school, and their kindergarten day is 8:50 am to 3:40 pm four days a week (M, T, R, F) with early release at 1 pm on Wednesdays.  It's hard to believe it's almost that time already.

Well, that's all I can think of for now. 

 

Big Boy Bed

David set up Charlie's new bed this morning, and he's successfully napping in it right now.

 

Sadly, I have to go wake him up so we can take Tommy to swimming.  David had to work this afternoon.

Charlie will still be sleeping in his crib at night, at least until it occurs to him to protest or to try to climb out.  It's nice not to have to worry about him wandering out of his room in the middle of his night.  I'm sure we'll finish the transition eventually. 

Go Go Go

We're having a good visit with Grandma Sylvia.  Thankfully, nobody is sick.  That always makes any company easier.  Tommy's allergies are really bothering him, but David and Sylvia have allergies too so they're all in the same boat. 

Somehow I can't seem to get anything written this week, probably because I've volunteered to be in charge of all the carnival games at the boys' school carnival fund raiser.  Getting started on that is sucking up all my brain cells. 

So.

Pictures!  Without captions!  Because it's been that sort of week again!